I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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