id be glad to
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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