Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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