sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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