lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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