so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
