Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
