He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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