What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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