break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
