woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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