I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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