So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
