Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
3 2 1 whiskey
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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