I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
