That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
