Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
