Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
