You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
