ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
