I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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