My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
