so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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