I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You're so nebulous sometimes
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
