I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
