Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
