The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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