I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
