Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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