is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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