'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
