Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
