I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
