well most of my day revolves around power hour
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
