so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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