i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
