My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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