I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
