would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
