oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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