I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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