Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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