Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
