hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
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Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I deserve this hangover.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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