Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
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Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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