On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
They took my balls.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
