How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
