Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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