with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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