Come see our sink grown plant.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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