so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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