please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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