we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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