Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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