Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
a search helicopter?!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
