nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
