We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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