I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
