I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
