hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
