We're like a lot better than the average bears
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
