What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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