Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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