I wish you could order shots online.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
