god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize