bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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